I awoke one day several years ago on my birthday. Now birthdays around our house are a big event. The festivities usually start in the morning with the entire family (My wife, 3 Kids and one dog) in bed with the birthday-boy hollering heckles about the aged old man. This ritual usually ended with the kids fixing breakfast and the wife and I enjoying some of the comforts of our physical relationship. But this day was different; I awoke to what appeared to be a normal morning ritual where they were all doing there own thing, getting ready for their respective days. It appeared as though they had forgotten it was my birthday. I began to get terribly depressed but continued on. I quickly prepared for work and left for the office expecting the group I work with to have something big prepared for my birthday as they usually did. I arrived at work and found that my co-workers had also disappointed me, there were no birthday streamers and cake as usual.

I slipped further into depression as I thought that turning 50 would have brought out the party poppers and ribbons. It had become a very bad day. Latter in the morning my secretary Denise, who was 35 and built for pleasure, asked me ?what has you so down this morning.? I explained that it was my birthday and all of my family and friends had forgotten it, leaving me very depressed. Felling badly about forgetting my birthday she volunteered to take me to lunch. I declined but Denise insisted so we left at one to have lunch. I suggested several restaurants but Denise insisted on taking me to her apartment instead where she indicated she wanted me all to herself. When we arrived at Denise's apartment, she led me to the wet bar and asked me to make us both a stiff drink.

We took our drinks to the living room and visited for a time about the plight of her last failed relationship. She indicated the next time she entered into a relationship it would be with an older gentleman about my age, possibly me. She asked to be excused for a moment while she went to the bedroom to slip into something more comfortable. I was getting excited as I thought she was coming on to me and thinking I might get lucky I waited for her return. My mind began to race excitedly thinking about what might happen next. I began to undress and prepare for her return. I arranged the throw over the love seat and got comfortably naked and waited. After some time she exited her room with loud shouts of happy birthday followed by my wife, mother in law, kids and the guys and gals from my office, all shouting happy birthday and their I sat with nothing on but my socks. Woops!

Now that's funny!

If you would like to see other funny things I have accumulated over those 48 years go to my website and check them out http://www.TheDailyQuip.com/ and please have a humorous day, it's the only way your going to make it out sane.